


Through Long Nights

by KerryBear



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Comfort/Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-30
Updated: 2014-12-30
Packaged: 2018-02-27 17:01:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2700524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KerryBear/pseuds/KerryBear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rocket has a rough night, and Peter does his best to comfort him; It ain't always easy though.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Through Long Nights

"...Ugh," the tired, irritable raccoon groaned. He stretched out on his bed, wrapping himself up in the covers, a stern glare plastered onto his face.

_I'm probably the most useless member on the entire team. Or, y'know... Most useless member of everything. Life. Fuck, I dunno._

Rocket stared downwards, not unfamiliar with these kinds of thoughts. He wasn't even really sure why he was upset tonight. He knew that nothing exceptionally out of the ordinary happened, so he didn't really have any reason to be upset... But to him, that just made his emotions seem ten times as ridiculous, dumb, and unnecessary. It was just a normal day, followed by a long night. At this point, it was the dead of night; most of the crew had retired to their quarters. 

But it wasn't uncommon for Rocket to spend long nights in his room, just lying in bed thinking about his perceived current standing on the team. How inconvenient he must be. It was just another night for him.

_I'm honestly just lucky they even put up with a useless, mangy thing like me._

He rubbed gently at his ears, feeling a faint headache coming on. They had been a lot more common for Rocket recently; between the intense bouts of sleep deprivation, and the general lack of self-care, he was kind of a wreck.

For starters, he only got one or two hours of sleep per night, if he was lucky. If it weren't that he would wake up, drenched in sweat, adrenaline, and the dreamlike feeling of medical instruments defiling every feeling of safety and comfort he'd ever had, it would be the inability to get to sleep at all, due to intense anxiety and panic attacks, resulting in severe insomnia.

Next, he could even get himself to eat or drink as much as he should. More often than not, Groot would be the one who reminded him to eat what he had to, and after a while, everyone else caught on, keeping an eye on him to make sure he was eating his fill. If they weren't, they'd just delicately insist that he eat a little more. It was sweet of his team to care for him like that, but there were still nights where his health went unchecked; his dehydration and low blood-sugar often helped to fuel his insomnia and headaches.

He buried his face into his pillow, then rolled over with a loud groan.

_Fuck it. I may be useless and shitty, but I can at least drink enough water to stay somewhat healthy. Fuck._

With an irritable twitch of his tail, he pushed himself onto his feet, shuffling out of his bedroom door, trying to open it as quietly as possible. He was almost in the kitchen before he heard a faint rustling sound, catching sight of the refrigerator light, and a faint, familiar silhouette.

_Shit, okay-- J-Just gotta stay quiet, maybe he won't notice, I can't let him see me right now, I look like a wreck...!_

"Rocket? Yo, dude, what're you doin' up, it's, like, four in the morning, dude!" Quill softly spoke in Rocket's direction, careful not to wake the rest of the crew.

 _Shit._ Rocket lamented, wishing he had been more careful, and more importantly, more stealthy.

"Y-Yeah, I'm okay! E-Er, I mean-- Well, uh, I'm just... Getting a drink, a-and stuff, that's all...! I-It doesn't matter, lay off me! It's not _that_ late." His voice cracked once or twice as he tripped over his words, unable to cover up the fact that something's wrong. Rocket's voice always tended to choke up when other people confronted him about his well-being, and it was one of the traits he hated about himself. It made it hard to mask his flaws around friends.

Peter hummed slightly for a moment, continuing to rummage through the fridge. 

"Oh-- Well, uh... D'you want a drink, maybe?" Peter asked, concerned about the uncertainty in Rocket's voice.

"Y-Yeah? Uh, I mean, s-sure. Water, yeah..." He hadn't really realized how dry his throat was until he started to feel how anxious he was talking to Peter.

Peter helpfully got a couple of glasses out for the two of them, and filled them up from the faucet, handing one of the glasses to Rocket. He took note of Rocket's tired expression, and what easily could've been damp spots of tears in his fur.

"...Are you doing okay tonight?" He asked, genuinely concerned.

 "...What's it t'you? Why d'you care?" Rocket spat back, baring his teeth slightly.

Peter jumped slightly, not expecting that response at all. "Hey, dude. Rocket. You know I'm just asking 'cause I care about ya."

After a moment of awkward pause from Rocket, his ears flattened and his expression towards Peter softened.

"...Yeah, you're right... Sorry, it's just been a rough night..." His head lowered, somewhat sadly as they sipped more of their water together. Peter briefly considered whether or not to speak up, tilting his head inquisitively. 

"Hey, listen... I know it doesn't always help, and sometimes it's annoying for people to offer... But you can talk to me about it if you want, y'know." Quill offered, half-expecting an insult in return. He knew Rocket didn't respond well to condescending tones, and he knew he risked having it perceived that way.

Instead of just cussing him out and glaring at him like he expected, Rocket just lowered his head a little more, rubbing at his temple a little to soothe his headache. 

"Th-That's real sweet of ya, Star-Dork, but... I-I mean, it's late. I don't wanna keep ya busy, y'know, you shouldn't even be up right now..."

"Neither should you! C'mon. If you're not doin' well, it'd do ya some good to talk about it. Here, c'mon, just follow me. It'll at least help to just be with someone else for a bit until you feel better," Peter insisted.

Rocket rolled his eyes slightly, flattered that Peter wanted him to feel better, but concerned about what Peter really wanted. And he wasn't afraid to call him on it.

"What, you just lookin' for a quickie with me in your room? Are you sure you just wanna help me feel better 'n' junk? I mean-- W-Why d'you care how I'm feelin'?" He asked, unable to mask his defensive feelings.

Peter looked him in the eyes, as much as he really could in the dimly lit kitchen, and gently smiled at him.

"Look, Rocket... It's okay. I just wanna make sure you feel better so you can get some sleep and stuff, y'know? It'll be okay. Just follow me."

Peter stood up, softly grabbing Rocket's hand without a second thought, leading him to his room. Rocket blushed slightly, thankful for the fur on his face. Rocket thought about how soft Quill's hand felt in his, and how Quill must think his weird, furry hand must feel so weird and unpleasant. He was sure his hand was repulsive to Quill, along with everything else about him. But for now, at least he got to spend a li'l bit of time with him, not that he'd admit that it mattered to him.

Rocket obediently entered Peter's room with him, with Peter politely offering him a seat on the bed across from him. He sat at the foot of Peter's bed, flattening his ears shyly as he looked downward, away from Quill.

"So, Rocket, what's on your mind? You can tell me, y'know, I really won't judge." Peter inquired.

"Uh-- I-It's nothin', really... You don't need to worry about it..." 

"Oh, c'mon, it can't be that bad. There are some pretty ridiculous things to be sad about, but they're still reasons to be sad. It's okay for you to be upset."

"I-I know that! Jeez...! It's just-- I dunno. I, uh..." Rocket trailed off, still looking down nervously. 

_Shit, he's just gonna laugh at me for bein' sad at all. He's probably just barely keepin' it together as it is. Just waitin' to laugh at me._

"...Yeah?" Peter urged, sadly looking at Rocket, hoping to help him any way he can.

Rocket took a deep sigh, crossing his arms across his chest, ears still as flat as ever. 

"I just don't feel useful, okay? Jeez, what d'you care? All I am is some pest to you guys! You guys take me along on missions just 'cause you feel obligated to but I just fuck things up, and you guys probably don't really like me, okay? I'm just a mangy animal and you all think that, and I know that. It's what everyone's always thought of me and it's all I'll ever be to anybody."

"Rocket--" 

"Sh-- I'm still talkin'! It's okay to admit it, Quill, you don't actually care about me; Neither does Gamora, or Drax-- Fuck, man, Groot's probably realizin' how inconvenient I am too. You guys would be better company for him than me. L-Listen, just forget it, forget I ever said anything, I-I'll just-- I dunno." Rocket huffed aggressively, feeling hot and anxious. He realized he was probably sweaty, his breath getting out of his control. He scratched at his ears, irritated and upset, fidgeting around while he tried to figure out what to say.

"Rocket! It's okay, Rocket. Calm down." Peter interjected, noticing Rocket's intensity. He looked at Rocket compassionately, trying to make sure he was okay enough to touch, then gently placed a hand on his shoulder, comforting him enough to calm down.

"Ugh-- S-Sorry..." Rocket murmured, burying his face in his hands, embarrassed that he got so riled up. "I-It's just--! I understand if you don't want me on the team, or whatever. I wouldn't want me on here either, so, just-- Just forget it. I'll pack up by tomorr--!" "Rocket!" Peter interrupted Rocket before he could finish.

"Rocket, you aren't going anywhere. Everyone on the team here cares about you a ton, Rocket, and nobody thinks you're "mangy" or anything!" He rubbed Rocket's shoulder gently, trying to get through to him. "You mean a lot to everybody on the team. Especially Groot! There is no way anyone could ever replace you on this team. Nobody is like you, Rocket."

Rocket twitched his ears delicately, his eyes welling up with tears. He looked down again, trying to hide his face so Peter didn't see him crying.

"It's gonna be okay, Rocket." He scooted closer to Rocket, letting him lean into him, eyes still watery. 

"I-I'm just so worthless to you guys, why d'you deal with me...?" Rocket lamented, burying his face against Quill, letting himself cry into it a little. He knew it was embarrassing for him, but Quill didn't care, and Rocket had the feeling Quill really didn't mind. It was tough for Rocket to trust people, but Peter seemed to be sincere.

_He'll probably never let me forget this... Ugh. Fuck it._

"We deal with you," Peter began, rubbing Rocket's back delicately as he buried his face against him, careful to avoid his cybernetic enhancements, "because we care about you. You're anything but worthless, man. You're a great, loyal teammate, and a great friend, dude."

 _"F-Friend?"_ Rocket thought to himself, surprised Quill thinks of him that way. He had always considered Quill to be one of the closer people in the crew, besides Groot, but he didn't think it was mutual. 

Rocket let out a big sigh, wiping the tears from his eyes, trying to dry his face in Peter's blanket, which he had been generous enough to cover them with. He paused for a moment, looking at Peter with adoring eyes, rarely ever letting his softer side show, but his tough guy exterior was already lost by now, so he may as well just get over it.

"...Thanks a lot, Quill. That means a lot... I'm, uh... I-I'm sorry ya had to see me break down 'n' cry 'r whatever. Don't tell anyone. 'Kay?" 

Peter chuckled quietly, still rubbing Rocket's back comfortingly. "Of course, pal. It'd be real shitty of me to just spread your personal stuff around. You can be sure I won't do that, man."

The two of them cuddled against each other under the blanket. Rocket wasn't really sure how that had happened. One minute he was crying into Peter's chest, the next they were lying down, cuddled together under the blanket. 

Peter yawned heavily, rolling over onto Rocket, sleeping on him like a teddy bear. 

"H-Hey, careful," Rocket whispered sleepily, not wanting to be crushed but enjoying the warmth of Peter's body. 

"Yeah..." Peter replied, just as sleepily. He nuzzled Rocket's fuzzy ears. Rocket dreamily reflected on the situation.

 _W-Well... I dunno how this happened... Does he really care about me? What's his deal? A-Am I supposed to be sleepin' with him?_ Rocket's mind couldn't settle down; He was sleepy, no question, but he wasn't sure what he was doing or if this was supposed to happen. Physical contact with emotions wasn't exactly something he was used to. 

"Rocket?" Peter breathed out, half-asleep.

"Uh, yeah, Quill?" Rocket sputtered out, worried Peter would kick him out.

"Your breathin's a li'l jumpy... You okay?" He replied dreamily.

Rocket twitched his ears, confused; He hadn't even realized how anxious he was getting just about cuddling with Peter. His breathing was hard to get control of, but it wasn't in a bad way. There was something different about it. He was enjoying the physical contact.

Despite being so anxious and fiery about people touching him, Rocket knew, but never admitted, that he craved physical contact. Especially cuddling. But any time he came close to doing anything physical with anybody besides Groot, he got anxious: his skin felt weird, his breathing was out of whack, and sometimes, if it was bad enough, his vision would blur and he would almost pass out. 

At the moment, it was just his breathing. He nuzzled his head into Peter's neck, with Peter practically out like a light, flopped over on top of Rocket. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes, trying to calm his nerves.

"Y-Yeah, Quill, I'm fine." He replied, calming down. He slowed his breathing, being the most calm he had been in as long as he could remember. 

_I'm gonna be just fine, I-I think. There're worse places to be than cuddlin' with this idiot..._

And with that thought, they drifted to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Aaah, this was my first fic! I dunno-- I guess I just get kinda anxious about this kinda stuff, and I thought Rocket would be an interesting character to write that trait on to kinda put it in perspective. It kinda helps cope, y'know? I dunno--! 
> 
> And I'm just really passionate about Pocket, heh...! Expect to see a lot more of these kinds of fics!  
> (Rocket's such an interesting character to write anxiety in to, it helps me a lot. Thank you for reading this!)


End file.
